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There's not much more to say, but I'll redo it.--Sciofficer 21:35, 16 April 2006 (UTC)
- With all due respect to Sciofficer, I do not believe this most recent change improved the article. Ignoring the grammatical and typographical errors, and ignoring the signing of the article in the body (a stylistic approach not used in Memory Alpha), it has included information extraneous to the ship itself and is organized to emphasize expansive length over content. Specifically:
- The year of the encounter has been removed. It should be reinserted.
- The description that the Vissian ship could support families "much like the Galaxy-class Starfleet spacecraft" is similar to saying it could support families "much like a city" or "much like a colony ship". It is irrelevant to the statement, in other words. It also isn't quite right, either. Just because the ship was sized appropriately, the social and political structure would unlikely be "much like" a Starfleet vessel.
- Stylistically, phrases like "as mentioned above" are generally not used in Memory Alpha as that style of writing is more like a research paper than an encyclopedia article.
- For some reason the term "solarpod" has been used again. The term from the episode is "stratopod".
- Saying "althogh the ship was incredibly fast, Vissian interests had no desire to travel far from Vissia" is irrelevant to the ship itself. "Incredibly fast" is not really descriptive, and the political or societal aspirations of the Vissians don't really matter when the article is about the ship.
- The episode in which the ship is seen is no longer cited.
- In short: the article should be revised back to speak only to the ship itself, proper terms and spelling should be used, conventional style should be used, brevity should be the watchword, and citations must be provided. I can do all that, but it will look a LOT like the version just before this most recent change. If Sciofficer wants to respond and address these points, I'm happy to see that happen. If not, I'll just go ahead and make the changes. Aholland 02:26, 21
April 2006 (UTC)
I'll have to re-watch the episode agian for the specifics, thank you for enlightening me on the requirements and stylistic standards. I should also do some reading at the reference desk.--Sciofficer 18:15, 22 April 2006 (UTC)
- No problem; getting the hang of things around here from a stylistic standpoint is not real easy. I'll go ahead and revise the article as above. If you find more from the episode, feel free to add or subtract - just make sure it is in respect of the ship rather than the culture or individuals. Aholland 03:50, 23 April 2006 (UTC)
I added the sentence about what it's hull is made of, but I don't know if that is how it is spelled or not since I don't have a script. That needs to be checked out and then someone needs to make a page of that metal.