- The narrator, based on The Doctor, was seen in the introduction and epilogue, and also provides a voice over for each chapter stating the title.
- The protagonist was an EMH played by the person running the program.
- Captain Jenkins, based on Kathryn Janeway, was a warlike, highly unethical, coldblooded killer.
- Katanay, based on Chakotay, was a Bajoran thug with a ponytail, tattoo of a Bajoran dragon on the left side of his face, and the traditional earring.
- Torrey, based on B'Elanna Torres, was the temperamental Human chief engineer.
- Lieutenant Marseilles, based on Tom Paris, was the married self-indulgent, immature helmsman who sported a mustache.
- Mr. Tulak, based on Tuvok, was a Human with a goatee and shades of gray in his hair.
- Kymble, based on Harry Kim, was a Trill hypochondriac.
- Three of Eight, based on Seven of Nine, was a Human freed from the Borg Collective, and was the only one who sympathized with the protagonist – all the other characters treated him with cruelty and disrespect, considering him a tool with no rights. Her implants differed from Seven's. She appeared tired and weary, perhaps being subjected to similar treatment.
Command officer 2 Edit
Marseilles' dates Edit
These two crewmembers entered sickbay to receive their medical check-ups while B'Elanna Torres acted as the protagonist in the holonovel. When the first woman entered, Torres was sent to engineering by Marseilles but was sent back by Torrey. When she entered the dark sickbay, she found Marseilles with this crewmember on the biobed.
Operations officer 1 Edit
Operations officer 3 Edit
This operations division officer was in sickbay lying on a biobed. When the protagonist wanted to treat this officer instead of Marseilles, Jenkins shot the officer in the chest with her phaser. (VOY: "Author, Author")
Altered version Edit
- The narrator, now based on Paris, gave a tongue-in-cheek introduction based on the original.
- The protagonist was the chief medical officer's medical assistant.
- The CMO is egotistical, unethical, and obnoxious, with a bad comb-over and more concern for his extracurricular activities, like golfing, than his patients. Later, Paris mused that The Doctor was not the doctor shown in the holonovel, insisting that this doctor "had more hair", a reference to the superficial differences between The Doctor's characters and their Voyager counterparts.
- Two of Three, similar to Three of Eight, was part of a set of triplets which also included the unseen One of Three and a third sister, unnamed. She was quite demure and submissive in her attitude.