If Wishes Were Horses (episode)

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Station residents suddenly find their imaginations are manifested in physical form; a spatial rift threatens to destroy the Bajoran system.

Summary

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Prologue

Quark tells Odo he needs to lighten up and have some fun, perhaps in a holosuite. Odo dismisses imagination as a sign that one is not paying attention to one's real life. Quark offers to create a Shapeshifter "playmate," at which point Odo declares, "You're disgusting!"

At seeing Jake Sisko walking toward a holosuite, Odo warns that Quark had better not have created any "playmates" for him. Jake's program, Quark explains, is one that includes famous baseball players from Earth, such as Tris Speaker, Ted Williams and Buck Bokai. Quark has made it his business to learn about Human customs and traditions because a wise man, he says, can smell profit in the wind. He tells Odo to try it. "I don't have a sense of smell," Odo says.

As Quark explains economics to Odo, on the other side of the bar, Dr. Bashir and Lieutenant Dax are having dinner. Julian wants to become romantically involved, but Jadzia politely refuses and points out that he has eyed several other women as well. She returns to Ops, where she finds there are elevated thoron emissions in the nearby Denorios belt. Dax and Sisko hypothesize that it is due to the high amount of traffic around the station.

Meanwhile, O'Brien reads his daughter Molly a bedtime story – "Rumpelstiltskin" – and tucks her in. However, Molly comes back out and claims Rumpelstiltskin is in her room. O'Brien returns with her and finds that Rumpelstiltskin truly has appeared in her room.

Act One

O'Brien sends his wife and daughter away, and calls for security. Rumpelstiltskin wonders where the straw is, supposing he will be asked to spin it into gold. Two security guards arrive at O'Brien's quarters, but cannot catch Rumpelstiltskin, who disappears, leaving the guards grasping at thin air. O'Brien calls for Sisko, but before the Commander can proceed, Jake interrupts him, and shows his father that Bokai followed Jake home from the holosuite. Meanwhile, Dr. Bashir is asleep in his quarters, but he is awakened by the caresses of a very amorous Dax. He resists at first, supposing that she is sick, or that he is hallucinating. But he can't think of a good answer when Dax asks why he is resisting, and decides to accept his apparent good fortune - but just then, Sisko calls for all senior officers. Sisko introduces Buck Bokai to the senior staff, pointing out that the former baseball great had been dead for 200 years, and introduces Rumpelstiltskin, who expresses annoyance that now everyone knows his name. Sisko asks Dax if these puzzling events could be related to the thoron emissions, but she doesn't seem to know what he is talking about. Then the REAL Jadzia Dax appears, much to Bashir's embarrassment.

Act Two

Bashir examines Bokai, and pronounces that he, and all the new characters, seem to be real. The "fantasy" Jadzia continues to have eyes (and hands) for Bashir, but when she suggests they return to his quarters, the doctor unequivocally rejects her, and she promptly disappears. Just then Odo contacts Sisko, reporting odd and seemingly random events, such as snow on the Promenade, occurring all over the station, apparently from people's imaginations. Quark finds himself surrounded by beautiful women who are unable to resist him and hopes whatever is going on lasts forever, until he realizes every one of his customers is winning at dabo. He desperately tries to "wish" them to lose, but as Odo points out, Quark is outnumbered.

Dax and Bashir, with the help of O'Brien, are developing a theory as to the cause, and the remedy. Bashir tries to apologize, but Jadzia says an apology is not necessar; we all have fantasies, she points out, and besides, she was a young man once herself. But then Jadzia starts discussing the "fantasy" version of herself, and her more "submissive" Jadzia promptly returns - and continues trying to seduce Bashir. Just then, the computer finds a match for the kind of phenomenon that is presently occurring on the station - which made it clear this was a life-or-death situation.

Act Three

A probe is launched into the wormhole to hopefully better understand the effects of the thoron. While O'Brien is busy working on the solution, he is heckled by Rumpelstiltskin. The Chief tries to ignore what he calls the "figment" - until Rumpelstiltskin mentions Molly, in what could be interpreted in a threatening way. When O'Brien is about to lose his temper, his "figment" disappears.

While Jadzia and Bashir continue to monitor the probe in search of a solution, Bokai follows Sisko and they briefly discuss baseball and Bokai's career. Baseball, it seems, simply fell out of favor with the general public - only 300 people were in the stands for the World Series. Bokai expressed deep gratitude for Sisko's loyalty to the game.

Rumpelstiltskin, Bokai, and "fantasy" Jadzia all discuss what to them seems like a surprising turn of events. "Jadzia" is annoyed and puzzled as to why Bashir would reject her, when he created her in the first place. Rumpelstiltskin wonders why O'Brien would dream up a character who frightens him. They both insists that their plan has been a failure, but Bokai says that he has made a real connection, and "it ain't over till it's over."

Act Four

The subspace anomaly continues to expand. Sisko orders Kira to clear all personnel from the pylons as a safety precaution before implementing their plan to seal off the anomaly (which now represents a clear threat to the entire Bajoran system). Odo was supposed to help, but he still has his hands full with Gunji jackdaws (emus) running rampant through the promenade. As Kira reaches lower pylon one, she is nearly enveloped by a wall of flame, and calls for emergency assistance. She then sees a burning, screaming man running toward her – and she has no escape. Cringing in the corner, Kira expects to be roasted alive. But after a few seconds, she looks up; there is no burning man, and no evidence of a fire. Sisko calls through her comm badge, asking for her report, but Kira is momentarily too confused to respond. Finally she says "false alarm", runs a few scans, then proceeds with the evacuation, somewhat nervously.

Odo is still dealing with the Gunji jackdaws (and numerous other "imaginative" problems) when Quark runs up to him to report two missing persons - a blonde and a brunette, who his imagination had conjured up earlier, but just then, the two ladies appear and resume acting affectionately to Quark. Knowing that all the strange occurrences on the station have been the result of imagination, Quark expresses no surprise when Odo confirms that none of the recent oddities originated in the unimaginative mind of Odo himself. Odo returns to his office and runs a security sweep on the pylons, only to discover that he has wished Quark into a holding cell, confirming to himself that he DOES have an imagination.

Jake is sitting with his baseball glove, procrastinating on finishing his homework, when he hears the sounds of a baseball park, and Bokai appears, inviting him to play. Jake resists, citing the trouble he'd get into with his father if he didn't first finish his homework. Suddenly, Benjamin Sisko appears (out of thin air) behind Jake's back; Jake mutters an excuse as to why he hasn't completed his homework. His father disappears, and so does Bokai, and Jake starts getting serious about his homework.

The senior staff is still trying to contain a rapidly-growing subspace rift, which is now big enough to be seen on-screen. As Sisko looks it over, Bokai appears next to him. Rumpelstiltskin is seen observing O'Brien, and "fantasy" Jadzia is smiling at Bashir, who (like the rest of the senior staff, except Kira) is staring intently at the anomaly.

Act Five

Kira appears to confirm all pylons have been evacuated and secured. The one hope is a torpedo sent into the anomaly. While the real Jadzia is at her station, the fantasy Jadzia expresses fear at the seriousness of the situation - Bashir told her that if this didn't work, all life on DS9, real or imaginary, would be ended. She asks him to hold her, which he does, but does not take his eyes off the viewing screen.

At first, everything seems to be going well, but then it appears that they are not getting a controlled collapse of the anomaly. Despite heroic efforts by the senior staff, the station is hit by something, and Sisko immediately orders damage control. Fantasy Jadzia is seriously injured, and Bashir attends to her. Although sensors have come back online, it seems inevitable that the station is doomed, and when Sisko asks for suggestions, nobody answers - except Rumpelstiltskin, who claims to be able to solve the problem - for a price. A confused Keiko, holding Molly, suddenly appears, and Rumpelstiltskin says "I always wanted to have a daughter".

O'Brien refuses to agree, and angrily insists that if Rumplelstiltskin can seal the rift, he should do so, before realizing to his own confusion that Rumpelstiltskin is a fictional character from a children's fairy tale. At this point, Sisko realizes that everything - including the anomaly, is the product of a wish, or at least an expectation, and as more people believe it exists, its size increases. Sisko orders O'Brien to lower the shields, and believe that there is no subspace rift outside the station. O'Brian complies. As the senior staff present begin understanding, and believing, all readings return to normal, and the "imaginary" characters disappear.

Though almost everything is back to normal, the unusual thoron readings persist. Sisko orders the station go to yellow alert, and asks Jadzia to continue her investigation, "but no speculation!" Sisko then goes to his office, where Buck Bokai appears, and explains that he is part of an extended mission that followed a Federation ship through the "hole in space." His people wanted to see what "imagination" is really about in an attempt to learn more about humanoids. "Bokai" departs shortly after suggesting that he and his compatriots might return "next year" to inform Sisko about his species.

Log entries

"Station log, stardate 46853.2. We have launched a probe to study the subspace anomaly. Meanwhile, more than half the people aboard DS9 have reported manifestations of their imagined thoughts."

"Station log, supplemental. The subspace anomaly continues to expand. As of yet, we've been unable to find a way to contain it. As a precaution, we have diverted all incoming ships away from the station."

Memorable quotes

"Family entertainment. That's the future, Odo. There's a fortune to be made. Little holocreatures running around. Rides and games for the kiddies, Ferengi standing in every doorway selling... useless souvenirs."
"You're going to replace all your sexual holoprograms with family entertainment?"
"Oh, no! No! I'm expanding! I'm negotiating to lease the space next door so I can use the same hologenerators."
"You're still disgusting." (Odo walks off)
"Till the day I die."

- Quark and Odo

"Julian, you are a wonderful friend." (Bashir sighs heavily) "I enjoy the time we spend together!"
"Stop! You're driving a stake through my heart!"
"Try a high pitched sonic shower. It'll make you feel better."
"No it won't!" (Dax walks off) (to self) "I've already tried it."

- Dax and Bashir

"Sorry I'm late. I was having dinner with Julian."
"How is our young doctor?"
"Young. Anything going on?"

- Dax and Sisko

"Why do we tell her stories about evil dwarves that want to steal children?"

- O'Brien

"She really is submissive, isn't she?"

- Dax, beginning to get annoyed at her double

"I am not submissive! ... am I?"

- Illusory Dax seeks affirmation from Bashir

"Let me out of here! Let me out of here! Get the Nagus on subspace, I want to talk to him and I mean now!" (He touches the force field holding him and gets zapped) "I'm not spending another minute in this cell!"
"How did you get in there?"
"How did I get in here?! You put me in here!"
"Ahh. Hah! I guess I did, didn't I?" (Odo chuckles)
"Yeah..." (Quark then vanishes)
(Odo chuckles) "No imagination indeed. Hah!"

- Quark and Odo, as Odo watches his security cameras and sees Quark in a holding cell

"Perimeter sensors are picking up a subspace oscillation. What the hell does that mean?"

- Kira

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?!" (Grabs a mug from Rom's tray and bangs it on table) "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..." (Notices Morn passing by) "...And all androgynous creatures... Your attention, please!"

- Odo

"I'm going to have to ask you all to please refrain from using your imaginations."

- Odo

Background information

Story and script

The story of "If Wishes Were Horses" was different from the final teleplay. Michael Piller commented: "It was a very hard concept to make work. Somebody came in and said, 'Jake brings a baseball player home from the holodeck', and that was the pitch. Basically, I said we just did the Moriarty episode, where [ Moriarty ] walks out of the holodeck in Next Generation and I didn't want to do another holodeck show, but I would like to do a show that celebrates imagination, since that's really what Star Trek is a celebration of the imagination. We knew it was sort of a "Where No One Has Gone Before" concept, but that was six years ago on another show, so why can't we do something where strange things are happening that people are imagining?" (Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, p 53)
Aside from the aforementioned "Where No One Has Gone Before" (where The Traveler brought the Enterprise to a remote region of space, where the crew's imagination becomes reality as well) other episodes with similar premises include TOS: "Shore Leave" and TNG: "Imaginary Friend".
Rumpelstiltskin was originally written as a leprechaun, but was changed when Colm Meaney objected, claiming that this was an offensive stereotype against Irish people. According to Meaney, "Using caricatures or cliches of any nation is not something Star Trek is or should be into." (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)
Michael Piller recalled his modifications to the script to placate Meaney: "We needed a reason for it to be happening and we came up with the idea that O'Brien would be telling a bedtime story about a leprechaun. We had the script written, and Colm Meaney called Rick [Berman] and said, 'Every Irish actor I know has worked his entire life to overcome the stereotype of Irish people and leprechauns. It's really racist, and I don't want to do it'. We had no idea there was any sensitivity to leprechauns in the Irish culture and certainly we did not want to force Colm Meaney to act with a leprechaun, but what the hell do you do after you've got a whole story structured around a leprechaun stealing a child? Well, we went through story tales and Robert [Hewitt Wolfe] came in with Rumpelstiltskin, and we went by it at least once, maybe twice, because Rumpelstiltskin wasn't exactly the same thing and wouldn't work in the structure we had. When I finally sat down to rewrite it, I said, 'Okay, Rumpelstiltskin - let's see where it goes'. It was one of those scripts where I had no idea how to resolve it or where it was going to go. I wrote each scene to see if it worked and had fun with it". (Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, p 53)
Writer William L. Crawford says of the mysterious aliens in this episode, "They were a little shy. And they would use their ability to reflect the fantasies or unconscious of individuals they ran into to bring out their good and bad points, so the aliens could make a decision if they wanted to go further." (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)

Production

Rob Legato and Terry Farrell — Robert Legato directs Terry Farrell on the set of "If Wishes Were Horses"

Colm Meaney reflected that the episode was "very difficult to shoot because we had the appearing and the disappearing. The guy who played Rumpelstiltskin would appear to be behind my back, sitting on a console. But I had to play it in the completely opposite direction. So, he spoke from behind me, but I played the response in front of me. Then we had to reverse it and shoot it the other way. It was very complicated, but it came out well". ("Colm Meaney - Miles O'Brien", The Official Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Magazine Vol. 5, p. 9)
Michael Piller recalled the filming of the scenes between Bashir and the imaginary Jadzia: "I've saved the dailies of Terry's coming on to Siddig, and [Bashir] doesn't know why, for my personal collection. There were twelve takes, and he kept breaking up and fluffing the lines". (Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, p 53)
Armin Shimerman especially enjoyed the scene with Quark's imaginary women. Shimerman commented: "The writers were kind enough to give me every adolescent's fantasy. They gave me these two beautiful women and were very sweet. It was fun". (Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, p 53)
Hana Hatae remembered childhood fear she experienced during the episode; "There are two episodes that really stand out in my mind. The first one being "If Wishes Were Horses" because I was absolutely terrified of Rumpelstiltskin. I think that I legitimately thought the actor who played him was going to steal me. I was too scared to be alone with him in the same room, so I had someone else with me at all times." [1]
The Gunji jackdaw which appears on the promenade was played by an emu. It is the only appearance by an emu on Star Trek. They proved to be difficult to receive direction, so one of their trainers was dressed as a Bajoran monk. (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)
Interacting with and acting like the emu brought back memories of playing a character who transformed into a bird in Brewster McCloud for Rene Auberjonois. (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion)

File:Buck bokai.jpg

Buck Bokai, a baseball player mentioned throughout the DS9 series, makes an appearance in his London Kings uniform.

Reception

Ira Steven Behr commented: "This is an episode you've got to try and do. We should be awarded brass balls for doing Rumpelstiltskin. It's an interesting show and it has a high level of imagination and it's a high concept. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't". (Captains' Logs Supplemental - The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, p 53)
This is one of Terry Farrell's favorite episodes because of the fun she had playing two different types of Dax. (Crew Dossier: Jadzia Dax, DS9 Season 2 DVD special features)
Farrell also commented that she thought that the episode "was the first time it all sort of gelled with Sid and my relationship. It took a long time before it all came together. This was the first time we as a cast were all really together. It was an interesting moment. We realized we're like this basketball team that had found our camaraderie and felt comfortable". (Cinefantastique, Vol. 24, No. 3/4, p. 97-98)

Trivia

The baseball which Sisko keeps on his desk for the remainder of the series is a memento of this episode, given to him by the alien who impersonated Bokai. The ball would go on to have great thematic significance in many future episodes, such as "Call to Arms", "Sacrifice of Angels", "Tears of the Prophets" and "What You Leave Behind".
Buck Bokai, who appears in this episode, was first mentioned (although not by name) in TNG: "The Big Goodbye".
The title of this episode comes from an old English language proverb that goes, If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
Odo's disgust over "intermingling" with a holographic shapeshifter foreshadows his tumultuous relationship with the Great Link and, specifically, the Female Changeling.
In terms of stardates, the events of this episode occur before the events of "Dax" (Stardate: 46910)
The events in the Hanoli system are noted by Jadzia Dax to have taken place in the mid-23rd century. Miles O'Brien, however, later speaks about the contemporary technology being superior to the one 200 years ago, placing the incident in the 22nd century. The Star Trek Encyclopedia confirms this, placing it around 2169 (3rd ed., p. 183).

Video and DVD releases

UK VHS release (two-episode tapes, CIC Video): Volume 8, 7 November 1993
As part of the DS9 Season 1 DVD collection

Links and references

Starring

Avery Brooks as Commander Benjamin Sisko

Also starring

Previous episode:
"Progress"

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Season 1

Next episode:
"The Forsaken"

If Wishes Were Horses (episode)

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